Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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