"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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