Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
