Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize