What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
