you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
