whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
