I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
