We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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