my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
