I'm lost and stupid without you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
