Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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