She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
