My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
