She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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