i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
