Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
