Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
