I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
