After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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