"it" just moved
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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