He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
