we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
