two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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