I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
