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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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