We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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