I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
