There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
