i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
