More tranny stories later!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
