is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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