weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
