he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
