i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
