she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
