You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
