I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
