last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish you could order shots online.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
