At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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