I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
