he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
