dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
