We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
