i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
