his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
