dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
