If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
