Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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