it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
